Sardar Jokes :)

1. Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
Because he opened petrol pump on second floor.
 

2. Santa and Banta went for a drive.
Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says "Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!"

3. One Sardar looking at a ice cube in sunlight from 1hr,
Someone asked him what r u looking....?
Sardar replied: I’m checking from where water is leaking in the ice...

4. Banta was traveling in an auto rickshaw with his wife. The driver adjusted the mirror.
Banta shouted: U r trying to see my wife, sit back, I'll drive!

5. In interview, one officer asked Sardar: Which is your birth place?
Sardar: Punjab
Officer: Which part in Punjab.
Sardar: No part -part, my whole body in Punjab only.
 

6. santa- I tried ur number many times it said Switched Off.
banta - It's my hello tune yar

7. Hindi teacher asks a sardar : Kaal k kitne prakar hote hi?
Sardar : 7 prakar k
Local kaal,STD kaal,ISD kaal,Missed Kaal,Recieved kaal,Dialed kaal & Sasriya kaal

8. Sardar apne dosto mein raat ko free time mein baithe the ki achanak woh khade hue aur jaane lage. Doston ne poocha kyo bhai, abhi to sirf 10 baje hai, itni jaldi neend a gayi kya? Sardaji: are nahi yaar mujhe abhi yaad aya kal mera blood TEST hai, teyyari karni hai.

9. ek baar teen sardar ek double bed pe soo rahe the..ek hi bed pe teeno ko sone me badi problem ho rahi thi. jagah kam pad rahi thi to aise me ek sardar uth gaya or neeche jameen pe soo gaya. isse bed pe kaafi jagah ho gayi to sardar ne neeche soo rahe sardar se kaha ki ab upar jagah ho gayi hai aa ja.....

10. Man: Sir, my wife is kidnapped !!
Postmaster: Bhai ye post office hai, police station mein complain di jiye.
Man: Kya karoon khushi mien kuch samajh nahee aa raha Hai...!!!

11. 1 aadmi train se utar kar sardaar se puchta hai :-
yeh kon sa station hai ?
Sardaar ne socha__________
socha_________
socha__________
aur socha__________
phir bola...........
Railway Station......

12.Boss- I am giving u job as a Driver. STARTING salary Rs.2000/-, Is it OK Sardar, U R GREAT Sir: Starting salary is OK. But , How much is DRIVING salary:

13. 1 Day Sardar Had a dream that some 1 killed him Next Day He closed His ICICI Bank Account Dou U Know Y
Because ICICI slogan is WE Make UR Dreams True

14. Friend 1 : Are yaar ye Mobile to mughje kangaal kardega
Friend 2 : Kyu ?
Friend 1 : Baar baar dikhaata hai Battery low ab , ab tak 50 battery badal chuka hoon!
Friend 2 : ???????!

15. santa: yaar main apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai.......ki devan?
banta: gold ring de de.
santa: nai yaar, koi badi cheez das.
banta: MRF da tyre de de.

Thank you

Vikram

KRF-CPF, Thailand

Marathi Jokes :)

बंड्या आणि बबडी
बंड्या आणि बबडी हॉटेलात जातात.
बंड्या : बबडे छबडे काय बरं खाणार तू... काय मागवू तुझ्यासाठी? तू फक्त सांग!!!
बबडी : बननड्या ऑम्मी नॉई ज्जॉ!!
बंड्या : अगं सांग काय ऑर्डर करू?
बबडी : अममम... ठीकॉय. जे तू खाणार ना तेच मॉलॉ पण हॉवॉय!
बंड्या : ओके डार्लिग. वेटर दोन प्लेट मिसळ. दोन प्लेट समोसा आणि दोन मस्तपैकी चहा.
बबडी : वेटर. मलॉसुद्धा दोन प्लेट मिसळ. दोन प्लेट समोसा आणि दोन मस्तपैकी चहा पायजे.

प्रेम म्हणजे...
वीजेची एक तार दुसऱ्या तारेच्या प्रेमात पडली तरी त्याला काय म्हणणार???
करंट अफेअर

मनाई
एका तलावाजवळ लावलेली पाटी-
'तलावात मगरी आहेत. तलावात पोहण्यास सक्त मनाई आहे. वाचलेल्यांवर कायदेशीर कारवाई केली जाईल!!'

टाळा!!
पेशंट : डॉक्टर, माझा हात दोन ठिकाणी मोडलाय!!
डॉक्टर : ओके... या दोन ठिकाणी जाणं शक्यतो टाळा...

टीनाचा बैल
टीना : ओव ग्हावखरी ग्हावखरी... तुमछा बईल खित्ती शुंदर हाये. पण तुमछ्या या बईलला शिंघं खा नायत?
गावकरी : त्याचं काय अॅ ना फॉरिनर बाई. काहींची शिंग आम्ही कापून टाकतो. काहींना जन्मजातच नसतात. काहींची भांडणात तुटतात. एकंदर बरीच कारणं असू शकतात.!! पण याला शिंग नाहीत याचं कारण वेगळं आहे. कारण तो बैल नसून गाढव आहे मॅडम!

इश्पेशल आरसा
झंप्या : काय राव... या आरश्यॅत इश्पेशल ते काय हाए बरं?
दुकानदार : स्पेशल म्हणजे सॉलिड स्पेशल आहे बघा. म्हणजे तुम्ही १००व्या मजल्यावरून तो खाली फेकलात तर ९९ मजल्यांपर्यंत तरी फुटणार नाय म्हणजे नाय.
झंप्या : काय सांगता... वा वा वा... मग या प्रकारचे २० आरशे लगेच पॅक करा बघू
टेलिमार्केटिंग कॉल्स कसे थांबवाल?

अक्कल-शक्कल
नेहमीची ट्रिक : हॅलो, हॅलो.. काही ऐकू येत नाही... हॅलो, मोठ्याने बोला हो...
किंवा त्यांना सांगा- 'माझ्या काही लक्षात राहात नाही, मी लिहून घेताय' आणि एक एक शब्द परत परत विचारा...

आराम
पत्नी: डॉक्टरांनी मला एक महिना आराम करायला सांगितलाय, आणि हवापालटासाठी आठ दिवस एखाद्या हिलस्टेशनवर जायला सांगितलंय... आपण कुठे जायचं?
पती: सेकंड ओपिनियनसाठी, दुसऱ्या डॉक्टरकडे!

खडा
बंडोपंत : अरेरेरेरेरे देवा
ठमाकाकू : काय झालं आता? जेवा की मुकाट!
बंडोपंत : काय हे भातात आजही खडा. अगं देवाने चांगले दोन डोळे दिले आहेत ना तुला. मग साधा एक खडा काढता येत नाही?? कमाल आहे तुझी!!!
ठमाकाकू : ओ माझ्या दोन डोळ्यांचं सोडा. तुम्हाला एवढी बत्तीशी... म्हणजे बत्तीस दात दिलेयत ना देवाने. मग तुम्हाला एक खडा चावता येत नाही. कमाल आहे तुमची!!!!

Thank you

Vikram

KRF-CPF, Thailand

Learning Animation software

Dear friends,


My interest and anxiousness towards learning and creating my own animations has begun. Actually I motivated from the movies, advertisements, cartoon and sci-fi movies. Whenever I was watching them, I was always thinking that how these things are created. If I can create my own animations then I can put my own ideas to express my thinking visually to others. So one day I download Adobe flash professional CS5. and also download videos about its step by step lessons.


Trust my its a very good, interesting and time worthy software, if and only if you are interested in doing it.


Here I have attached my sample animations.


After this I will try to learn Autodesk Maya. This is even more powerful then Adobe flash. Remember "Avatar" was created  by using Maya.

Thank you

Vikram

KRF-CPF, Thailand

CPF continues its plan on overseas expansion to boost its sales and profit for the next 5 years

Some highlights about CPF's overseas expansion plan in next five years:


The Board of Directors’ Meeting of CPF or Charoen Pokphand Foods Plc. convened on January 26, 2011 passed the resolution approving the investment in Cambodia within the first quarter of 2011. In addition, CPF reported the capital increase in its subsidiaries in Malaysia and Russia for business expansion. CPF foresees the high growth potential of agro-industrial business and food business in all these 3 countries.


CPF will invest in 1,475 newly issued ordinary shares of CPC (25.00% of CPC’s total issued and paid-up shares after this capital increase) at the offering price of USD 11,030 per share with total value of approximately Baht 500 million. CPC involves in animal feedmill, livestock farming and food processing plant for domestic sale in Cambodia.The Board deems that the transaction is reasonable and beneficial to CPF due to the high growth potential of agro-industrial business in Cambodia as well as solid business background of CPC and its capability to expand its businesses in the future. In the past 3 years, CPC’s operating results have increased and continuously generated profits.


In addition, CPF reported its capital increased in Charoen Pokphand Foods (Overseas) LLC. and CPF Agro LLC., which are CPF’s subsidiaries in Russia, with total amount of RUB 429 million or approximately Baht 440 million and RUB 60 million or approximately Baht 61 million, respectively. The objectives of capital increase are for the expansion of livestock farming in Russia. CPF also reported its capital increase in Asia Aquaculture (M) Sdn. Bhd., CPF’s subsidiary in Malaysia, with total amount of MYR 25 million or approximately Baht 253 million. The objective of the capital increase is for capital restructuring for business operation as CPF foresees the high growth potential of shrimp business in Malaysia. 


 Mr. Adirek Sripratak, President and Chief Executive Officer of CPF, said an investment in Cambodia and capital increase in Malaysia and Russia are in line with CPF’s strategy to expand its operations to overseas. CPF plans to increase its revenue from overseas operations from 27% of total sales to 40% in the next 5 years of which will also help increasing CPF’s net profit. Finally, Mr. Adirek said Cambodia, Malaysia and Russia have high growth potential of agro-industrial business and food business and great opportunity for business expansion for CPF.

http://www.cpfworldwide.com/en/mdcntr/press_release_detail.aspx?id=1963

Thank you
Vikram,
CPF-KRF, Thailand